Am I being overmedicated: My Mental Health Journey to Rediscovering Myself
- Jaycee Knox
- Jul 18
- 4 min read
Disclaimer: This blog post is not intended to replace medical advice from a qualified medical professional.
Please seek medical advice from your prescribing physician before making any changed to your medication.
In today's whirlwind world, it’s incredibly easy to feel the constant pressure to “fit in” and keep up. For me, like so many, this meant turning to medication to navigate the choppy waters of anxiety, stress, and other mental health challenges.
But what happens when the very things meant to help you start to feel like they’re actually holding you back?
Navigating the world of mental health can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to medication. For many, anxiety medications are a lifeline, offering relief from the overwhelming feelings that can accompany anxiety disorders.
However, my experience with anxiety medication was far from what I had hoped for. Instead of easing my anxiety, it transformed me into a person I barely recognized, leaving me, my husband and close friends and family in a state of confusion and concern.
When I first started taking the medication, I was optimistic. I believed it would help me manage my anxiety and allow me to reclaim my life after experiencing two seizures from Wellbutrin. I had read countless testimonials from others who had found relief, and I was eager to join their ranks.
However, as time went on, I began to experience a range of side effects that were not only distressing but also dangerous.
Initially, I noticed a shift in my mood.
What was supposed to be a calming, instead ignited a simmering anger within me. I found myself snapping at loved ones over trivial matters, feeling irritable and on edge. It was as if a switch had flipped, and I was no longer in control of my emotions.
This anger was compounded by physical symptoms that made daily life increasingly difficult. I began sweating profusely, as if I were trapped in a sauna, regardless of the temperature outside or inside. This constant discomfort made social situations unbearable, and I started to withdraw from friends and family.
Vision problems soon followed, making it challenging to perform everyday tasks.
Night driving became a terrifying ordeal, as I struggled to see clearly. The fear of getting behind the wheel at night kept me from participating in activities I once enjoyed, making me feel further isolated from my support network and I finally had to admit to my husband I could no longer drive at night, something that has always brought me peace.
My ability to concentrate and remember even the simplest things diminished, leaving me feeling lost and frustrated. I would forget appointments, misplace items all the time (even more than usual), and struggled to follow conversations. It got to the point where I would sometimes need the GPS to get home from the grocery store, to and from my office or even forget where I was even going in the first place.
It was as if my mind was enclosed in a fog that I couldn’t shake. I did not know who I was anymore and I felt like I was losing everyone and everything I held dear.
The most alarming aspect of my experience was the emergence of suicidal thoughts. It was a dark time, and I found myself acting out in ways I, or my Husband never thought possible. I broke my own nose in a moment of rage because I hated the person that looked back at me in the mirror and punched holes in the walls of my home. It felt as though I was trapped in a nightmare, and I was powerless to escape it.
Ironically, I often joke about being "lucky" enough to experience the rare side effects of medications, yet I can't seem to be lucky enough win the lottery. However, reflecting on everything, I did win the lottery.
Throughout this crazy journey, I am incredibly grateful for my husband, Adam and my best friend, Ryan. They stood by me, recognizing that something was amiss in my mind. Their unwavering support encouraged me to seek therapy and reevaluate the medications I was taking with my medical team.
It was a pivotal moment in my recovery, as I began to understand that I was not alone in this battle. They were there to offer judgement free support and guidance, and I finally felt heard and understood.
Therapy provided me with a safe space to explore my feelings. It was through these sessions that I learned to articulate my struggles and confront the emotions I had been suppressing. It also provided me with new coping skills to deal with the unknown of coming off of a medication, not knowing the potential withdrawal symptoms.
It is crucial to approach medication adjustments with care and professional guidance.
My doctor worked with me to create a tapering plan that would minimize withdrawal symptoms and allow me to transition safely. This process was not without its challenges, as I experienced a range of emotions and physical sensations during the adjustment period.
However, I was determined to reclaim my life and find a path that felt authentic to me.
My experience with anxiety medication was a challenging chapter in my life. While it did not provide the relief I sought, it ultimately led me to a deeper understanding of myself and the importance of seeking help.
I am now on a path to rediscovering who I am, and I am hopeful for the future. I have learned to embrace the support of my loved ones and to communicate openly about my struggles. I am happy to say I feel back to my “normal” self and I am so glad to be able to recognize who I am again.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s essential to prioritize your mental health. The journey may be difficult, but it is one worth taking. If you feel something is not “right” inside of your mind, speak to your doctor about it. It is vital to listen to your body, and plus; You deserve to feel like yourself again.
If you or someone you know is in a mental health crisis, please reach out for help by texting or calling 988.
You are not alone, and there are resources available to support you.
It’s essential to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Disclaimer: This blog post is not intended to replace medical advice from a qualified medical professional.
Please seek medical advice from your prescribing physician before making any changed to your medication.
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